Fat Fasting My Way Into a New Dress Size

 

Fat Fast Day 1 (AKA How is eating chocolate pudding going to make me lose weight? Y'all are crazy.)

It's not every day that a woman with PCOS loses 80 lbs. The fact that it happened in less than a year astounded me. What wasn't so surprising was when I started yoyoing after the holidays. How could I expect to keep up that kind of momentum? My body had just gone through a keto overhaul. I was training to run a 5K harder than I have ever trained for anything in my life. I was holding my cheat days so dear that I would inhale tortilla chips at 11:59 PM just because IT WAS STILL MY CHEAT DAY, DAMN IT! So it came as no surprise to step on the scale this morning and see that I was 4 lbs up from the 3 lbs down I was yesterday. I had been following this yoyo pattern with such success that I almost wanted to call my mom and say "See?! I AM good at something!" Almost. Instead, I reread MFP user 2bmeagain12's Fat Fast blog from last week and committed to trying it for myself. I had to light a fire under my ass to get this far, and it was safe to say that the embers were fizzling. It was time to reignite that flame and keto on.

The Deets:

 Based on some quick Reddit r/keto research, a scouring of Google, and 2bmeagain12's blog, I am reducing my caloric intake from 1,800/day to 1,000/day. I must have four meals a day (8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm) at around 250 calories each meal. 85% of my calories are to come from fat. I am aiming for 132oz of water a day (4 refills of my trusty Camelback.) For the next five days I will fill MFP in on how I'm feeling, what worked and what didn't, and any strange/hilarious side effects I might develop. (We both know that's the only reason you are still reading this.) Here we go!

Breakfast: 

• 4 slices of bacon
• Coffee with 2 tbsp of heavy cream

 This was a rather standard keto breakfast. I wasn't phased by this at all, but I did miss my "egg or two" that usually accompany my meats. I am certain I have gotten by on four slices of bacon before. I ate this and went on with my day per usual.

Snack:

• 1 tbsp sour cream
• 3 tbsp mascarpone cheese
• 1tsp cocoa powder
• stevia to taste

Everyone elses diet sucks. I basically ate chocolate pudding FOR MY HEALTH. Suck it, Weight Watchers. P.S. I have peed approximately 8 billion times by this point. What the heck is going on?

Lunch:

• 1 Peanut Butter Fat Bomb
• Coffee with 1tbsp heavy cream

 Melt 1/4 cup coconut oil and 1/4 salted butter in the microwave. Add 1/4 cup of Peter Pan whipped 1/3 less sugar peanut butter and 3 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder. Add 30 drops (or 50 drops, whatever) EZ Sweet. Mix it like your life depends on it and pour it into six cupcake liners. Freeze for 15 minutes. Enjoy, but promise yourself that instead of coffee with cream in it tomorrow, you will shmear a tsp of peanut butter atop the fat bomb to fill in your calories that way. Because it's missing something, and that something is more peanut butter. By the way, I have not been hungry all day. Maybe it is the excitement of trying something new, and maybe it is that my body REALLY wanted to get back into ketosis and is utilizing all this fat to its full potential. Either way, rock on, Fat Fast! 

Dinner:

• 2 Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Poppers

Deseed 2 jalapenos and cut in half, making 4 "boats". Mix garlic salt, pepper (seasonings of your choice) with 3 tbsp cream cheese. Spread evenly within the jalapenos. Cut 2 pieces of bacon in half to make 4 pieces of bacon. Wrap one piece of bacon around each boat and bake in a 350* oven until the bacon is done to your liking. Consume. Screw you, Fat Fast! I want more of these! But nooooo. No, you say. Asshole.
At the end of the day, I had that wonderful "empty" feeling I always had during successful days on Keto. It was not a hunger, but more like I was satisfied and not weighted down by what I had eaten. Per 2bmeagain12's suggestion, I had some dandelion tea throught the day to combat bloat. I think it worked because I essentially read an entire magazine in 1/3 page intervals each time I went to the bathroom today. I did develop a headache towards the end of the day which could be attributed to any number of things. Has anyone else experienced this? Nonetheless, I am thrilled to see if the scale shows and weightloss and/or water weightloss in the morning. Even if it doesn't, I am totally having that chocolate pudding again tomorrow, and I'm not sharing. 

Fat Fast Day 2 (AKA Those are my jalapeno poppers and no, you may not have any.)

I lost 5.9 lbs today, and not because I shit on the floor with glee when I saw the numbers on the scale.If this is all the weight I lose during this experience, I will be happy. (No I won't.) I feel like I am drunk with power! Mwahahahaha! Mascarpone cheese + bacon = smaller pants! 

Breakfast: 

• Bulletproof coffee

 Holy shit you guys, this stuff was amazing. You could have talked about it a little more, you know. It's not like I read about the joys of BPC every single day and ignored them or anything... I mean c'mon, people. ;) I made mine with 1 tbsp unsalted butter, 3/4 tbsp coconut oil (I wanted to save some calories for my cream. It was necessary.) and 1 tbsp heavy cream. (...and a whole bunch of splenda...) Into the magic bullet it all went! I wanted to savor this stuff. Bathe in it even, and never tell anyone. (You'll never tell, will you?) Give it as gifts for birthdays, and to passersby. I wanted to stand on the street corner and preach the holy name that is Bulletproof Coffe, my lord and savior! Then I had to go to work. 

Snack:

• 1 tbsp sour cream
• 3 tbsp mascarpone cheese
• 1/2 tcp vanilla extract
• stevia to taste
• 1 slice of krakus ham

I wasn't even hungry, but this stuff smelled so good while I was making it that it was calling my NAME! I couldn't wait until snack time rolled around. I had to take my time and read a book while taking tiny bites with a tiny spoon (this recipe doesn't make much of this stuff... just sayin'. Which is probably a good thing because it tastes like frosting.) 

Lunch:

• 2 Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Poppers
• 1thin slice of beef summer sausage

 Pro-tips: DO NOT de-seed jalapenos and then scratch your armpit, nose, or cat. Also, blanch them in boiling water for a few seconds to get rid of some of the bitterness. It made all the difference. P.S. Still peeing. Still peeing...

Dinner:

• 18 pepperoni slices
• 1.5 tsp cream cheese

Nuke the pepperoni for 30 seconds, shmear with cream cheese. Nom. I was surprised at how full I felt with such a small dinner. The spicy pepperoni packed quite a flavor punch after being warmed up.
 Day 2 was a hands down success. I did use some of my calories for 2 slices of deli meat throughout the day. I just felt like it was what my body needed. My macros are spot on, nonetheless. I decided to go with vanilla "pudding" today simply because I forgot to bring my cocoa to work and we didn't have any there. We did have vanilla extract and boy am I glad we did. That stuff was amazing! I felt like I could frost a minute muffin with that stuff. OH. MY. GOD. Brainstorm! Let's frost our minute muffins with vanilla mascarpone pudding! You read it here first, folks. From the same women who brought you the Keto Green Tea Latte on Reddit. *takes a bow* I have big plans tomorrow. Big plans. I am going to make Keto Crab Rangoon for dinner. Stay tuned... 

Fat Fast Day 3 (Always have a back-up plan because sometimes your dinner tastes like armpit.)

I woke up on day 3 with so much energy I considered hooking myself up to the power grid and sharing it with less affluent communities. I don't know if it's my bodies response to the restriced calories, or if I am metabolizing on a more efficient operting system. Either way, I'll take it. I also woke up 2.8 lbs thinner. (-8.7 total on 2 completed days of the Fat Fast.) The constant peeing has subsided slightly, or perhaps I simply don't mind it as much. One thought that keeps floating through my keto brain is "Am I becoming addicted to this rapid weightloss?".  How am I going to handle increasing my calories? I understand that I cannot lose weight this fast for the long haul. There needs to be some time for the rest of me to catch up. Do I go up 250 calories every few days until I feel like I'm at a good place? Do I pick a random number and start eating towards that calorie goal right away and suffer a temporary stall or even a gain? Am I over thinking this? Oh! Also, my keto crab rangoon sucked the big one. (It was not the same as the recipe I posted.) I will not give up! Next time I will use fresh crab, more cream cheese, and precook the mushroom cap. Or I'll give up. Who knows.

Breakfast: 

• 4 slices bacon
• 1 tbsp heavy cream

I like meat in the morning. ;) The bulletproof coffee yesterday was fantastic but I think it would be a better fit as one of my snacks. I am going to try it again on my last day of the Fat Fast and see how I feel. I have noticed that I am much more in tune with my body now. I know what kinds or fat/protien/carbs I need at specific times of the day. I believe myself to be a meat in the morning type of person, and a BPC or fat bomb for a snack to follow a few hours later. I love veggies for lunch and feel most satisfied with more protien for dinner. I don't subscribe to having "perfect macros at every meal". I like to think that making sure my day as a whole is healthy, and I feel satisfied, is enough. 

Snack:

• Peanut Butter Fat Bomb
• 1/2 tbsp Peter Pan Whipped 1/3 less sugar peanut butter

The peanut butter on top of the fat bomb made all the difference. It cut the saltyness, added some sweetness, and generally made my tummy happy. No complaint! Oh wait, one complaint. Why can't I eat all 6 at once?! *cries*

Lunch:

• 11 asparagus spears
• 1.5 tbsp mayo
• 1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce

 Cook the asparagus to your liking. In a food processor smash together the chipotle pepper and mayo. Dip asparagus into chipotle mayo and let out a huge satisfied sigh. All was suddenly right with the world after I ate this. In fact, I might have it again tomorrow. I still do not feel hungry between meals. I feel "normal". I feel like it isn't a struggle to wait patiently for food. Keto made me feel this way before the Fat Fast, but I think my limits are being tested here. And I am acing this test like a champ. 

Dinner:

• Avocado

Add salt. Eat. Glare at the garbage can which now houses what was supposed to be your amazing crab rangoon stuffed mushroom. And was actually your horrible crab rangoon stuffed mushroom.

Tomorrow is another day and I absolutely cannot wait. Challenging myself is something I never would have done prior to keto for a myriad of reasons. It seems like all I do now is think of ways to push myself a little further, take it one more step. I have the 5k's coming up and I can't wait. I CAN'T WAIT TO RUN! Does that sound weird to anyone else? It still sounds weird to me. Yes here I am. Thinner. Stronger. Mentally more apt to handle what life throws at me. Confidant.  I have yet to find a downside to keto with the benefits being so abundant.

Fat Fast Day 4 (AKA I want to vacation in the Florida Keys with chipotle mayo and potentially strongly consider having its babies.)

Fat Fast Day 4 wasn't even a challenge, it was more of a joke. I loved the energy I had throught the day. I did a Couch to 5K workout in the morning, didn't eat the calories I burned, and proceeded to be absolutely fine. No real hunger, no pains. In fact, considering I hadn't worked out in a week, my speed and time were BETTER than ever before. I need to do more research on why this happened but for now I am crediting the Fat Fast and magic. Now let's be honest, the only reason you're reading this is to find out about the weightloss and if doing a Fat Fast is worth it for you. I gotta tell ya, I am a big girl. I started this process (keto) at 386 lbs and when I lose, I lose fast. My results are not typical. I started my Fat Fast at over 311 lbs. I got on the scale and was 299.6 lbs, 2.9 lbs smaller than the day before. (-11.6 total on 3 completed days of the Fat Fast.) Basically, the Fat Fast rocks and I think it deserves it's own Facebook page. Wait, maybe it already has one. Hold on... Nope, didn't find one. I also didn't look that well, but now you all are checking it out for yourselves. Enjoy that. Don't say I never gave you anything. 

Breakfast: 

• 4 slices bacon
• 1 tbsp heavy cream

I had the exact same breakfast as yesterday because it works for me and is delicious. And I really don't need to explain myself to you. Oh wait... this is a blog and yes I do. Shit. UGH! Okay fine. There is something about bacon in the morning that makes me feel special. Like, a keto princess. I love that it fills me up, feels "naughty", and is delicious. I have tried other breakfasts before and nothing else compares. Bacon, this is for you.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUiTQvT0W_0

Snack:

• 3 tbsp mascarpone cheese
• 1 tbsp sour cream
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• stevia to taste

Keto pudding again, and I feel so indulgent. I went an hour longer than I should have before getting a chance to eat and I was fine with it. It took me 30 minutes to finish this little cup of pudding as it was. The realization that my body can go longer and stronger with less food is very empowering. The fact that I can make a delicious pudding that is good for me and I can eat without guilt is amazing. The fact that you are still sitting here reading this and not making your own pudding is downright stupid. 

Lunch:

• 11 asparagus spears
• 1.5 tbsp mayo
• 1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce

 The long and the short of it is that this chipotle mayo has been better to me than any man. I made an entire jar of the stuff and I intend to put it on everything. You name it, and I will lick chipotle mayo off of it. Like, we could get dark with this conversation and my answer would forever be "Yes I will absolutely lick chipotle mayo off of that, no I am not mentally unstable, yes this is my real hair color."

Dinner:

• 6 oz salmon
• 1 tbsp chipotle mayo

See? I couldn't stay away for long. I might have licked the spoon I used to measure out the mayo. I might have also licked the jar lid that I keep the mayo in. In fact, I am going to lick the actual jar. This is my mayo, and nobody elses. *glares at you* 

Honestly, everything is hunky dory. Everything I was worried about happening during a Fat Fast just isn't so. I am not hungry on such a small amount of food. I do not feel headachey or nauseated (aside from the first day but I think I might have had a little head cold.) I am not tired. I am invigorated! Now my worries are leaning more towards what happens after. Will I gain this weight back overnight? Will I have a hard time going back up in calories again? What SHOULD my daily caloric intake be now? Hopefully I will have some answers for you tomorrow. I am working on my last day of the Fat Fast as I type this, and will post the last blog tomorrow with my final weight results. I am going to wait a week and post a follow up blog as well. The working titles are between the following "Fat Fasts and How I Buttered My Way Down an Entire Dress Size" or "Don't Look at Me! I Have Gained It All Back! No, I Do Not Know Why I am Crying Into a Bag of Cheetoes. Shit Happens, Okay? Nobody is Perfect". Only time will tell. 

Fat Fast Day 5 (AKA Sorry I'm a Lazy Ass Who Forgot to Blog About The Most Important Day of My Fat Fast)

Shall I just start with the stats? Yes, I should. Here we go!

Starting weight: 311.2

FF Day 1: -5.9 lbs

FF Day 2: -2.8 lbs

FF Day 3: -2.9 lbs

FF Day 4: -1.3 lbs

FF Day 5: -1.3 lbs

Total lbs lost in 5 days: 14.2 mother-lovin' POUNDS!

Ending weight: 297.0

Holy crap on a cracker, Batman! I essentially lost the weight of a 2 month old baby in as much time as it took me to get around to writing this post!  

Breakfast:

• 4 slices bacon
• 1 tbsp heavy cream

It's possible I was getting a little hungry at this point. My stomach was grumbling and I was missing protien hardcore. If you decide to stay the course for 5 full days with your Fat Fast, it is a good idea to make sure you include a bit more protien for the last day or two. I did develop a bit of a headache as well.

Snack:

• Peanut Butter Fat Bomb
• 1/2 tbsp Peter Pan Whipped 1/3 Less Sugar Peanut Butter

I can't talk these babies up enough. I have one more left in my freezer that I'm saving for my Fat Tuesday Fat Fast and I want to try it with a little sugar free jelly on top. (PB & J FAT BOMBS?!) I just drooled a little on the keyboard. LOOK AWAY!

Lunch:

• 1 Avocado with a drizzle of Maggi
• 1/2 cup sliced cucumber

Maggi seasoning sauce. It is a magical condiment. Its high salt content enriches the tastes of foods so emensely that I just can't stand it. (In a good way.) Here is a link to it if you want to read more about it. I have been using it ever since I was a child and is one of my most favorite edible items on earth. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maggi I may or may not have eatten a Maggi laden piece of chalk when I was 4 years old... It's your word against mine and go ahead and try to prove it in court. I dare you.

Dinner:

• 1.25oz Macadamia Nuts

I was so busy that day and so used to not eating much that I almost forgot to eat dinner. I had some nuts on hand and gobbled them up. I felt fine on so little food after five days that it almost worried me, but I supposed that it simply the Fat Fast doing with me what it may. I was excited to get back to "real" meals, but also worried that I would feel sick or guilty by consuming a dinner that was more than 250 calories. (Nobody likes a girl that develops an eating disorder, no matter how entertaining her blogs are.)

 I was sad that the Fat Fast was ending because I had been getting the biggest thrill seeing my weight drop so rapidly, but I learned pretty quick that this was not a sustainable way to eat. I kept turning down invitations for lunch because I didn't want to order "Three ounces of mozzarella cheese and lemon water please. Thank you!" I like our local restaurants and want to be able to return without being known as the saddo that eats cheese while smiling and crying in front of her concerned friends. So yeah, there's that. Overall I will definitely be doing this (5 day Fat Fast) again. Probably in a quartely fashion.  

I want to thank everyone who read my lame writings and supported me. I am totally infatuated with the MFP community and really enjoy spending internet-time with you guys. Just don't read too much into that. This is lust, not love. Unless you want to send me gifts of bacon and dark chocolate, then I totally love you and will PM you my address post haste.